Yours To Love Yours To Take
Yours To Love,
Yours To Take
Salim and Anita’s Sanctum
Book 1 of Verma Clan’s Sanctum Series
By
Reshma Ranjan
“It took her presence to rouse the slumbering monster in me
And it took her silence, patience and love to kill it for good.
Who else can I entrust my heart with,
my life with: my silent little one,
my strong little one!”
Copyright © Reshma Ranjan 2017
Self-published in 2017 under the banner NV. All rights reserved. This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite eBook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval tem, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior permission of the author-publisher. Reshma Ranjan asserts the moral right to be identified as the author & publisher of this book. This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
Edited by: Dola Basu Singh
Cover Illustration: Sachin Venkatesh
Acknowledging and Thanking
Note from the Author
Chapter 1
Loss, denial and pain
Present day, Shimla
Few days ago, Shimla
Present day, Bangalore
Chapter 2
Death, acceptance and final goodbye
Few days back, Shimla
Present day, Bangalore
Chapter 3
Nursing, routine and awareness
Few days back, Shimla
Present day, Bangalore
Chapter 4
Attraction, proximity and rejection
Few days back, Shimla
Present day, Bangalore
Chapter 5
His-story, repent and antsy
Ananya: A wood nymph
Ananya: Age old game of seduction
Ananya: Full of Life
Ananya: Bliss of being together
Ananya: The promise of a new beginning turned into ‘the end’
Present day, Bangalore
Chapter 6
Distraught, intimacy and rejection
Chapter 7
Anguish, pang and comfort
Chapter 8
Admission, introduction and welcomed
Chapter 9
Panic, re-living past and regaining voice
Chapter 10
Concern, promise and restart
Chapter 11
Home, rest and consummate
Chapter 12
Accustomed, affinity and normalcy
Chapter 13
Took off, furious and acceptance
Chapter 14
Memories, hurting and nightmares
Chapter 15
Company, closure and charge
Chapter 16
Agony, meeting and contentment
Chapter 17
Calm, content and cuddle
Chapter 18
Insight, confession and love
Epilogue
Salim and Anita’s Sanctum - Hooked for life
Glossary
About the Author:
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Between the pages…
Acknowledging and Thanking
I am thankful to Rubina Ramesh for just being there, guiding and pushing me in the right direction.
I thank Dola Basu Singh for walking through the world I created, seeing the characters through my eyes and editing it to the best it can be.
Thanks to Sundari Venkatraman for inspiring and encouraging me.
I am thankful to PG Van for giving insights into detailing.
I am deeply indebted to Dr. Ranjith Gopinath who is my friend and the Consulting Doctor to my works.
Note from the Author
Dear Friends,
Yours To Love, Yours To Take- Salim and Anita’s Sanctum is the first of book of the Sanctum Series of Verma Clan. I started penning it in November 2016 for NaNoWriMo. It had started with Gayatri’s return to living and her hugely different family. The family constitutes of members that are mostly adopted from different parts of the world yet hold on together stronger than any blood relation. I realized I needed to give each character their space instead of cramming them up in two or three books. And my first pick was Dr. Salim Verma, Gayatri’s grandson.
With a sprained ankle and completely bedridden for weeks, I had woven this story which soon formed its own world.
I hope ‘Yours To Love, Yours To Take – Salim and Anita’s Sanctum’ will take you through the emotional rollercoaster I myself experienced and make you fall in love with their love story.
With Love,
Reshma Ranjan
Chapter 1
Loss, denial and pain
Present day, Shimla
Anita clicked the ‘send’ button on her resignation. She knew it was unprofessional and quite unethical to send a resignation through email, but she was going to leave Shimla, her home where her family had lived, forever. Yes, lived! Her breath turned into a sob. Her family was no longer alive. Her parents and her twin sister were all gone, leaving her alone in this world.
The only people she could call her family were Surendra and Aayi. But now the decision was taken and she had to leave with the stranger who sat outside, waiting for her to finish packing and send the resignation.
In just couple of days not only had she lost Ananya, her twin, but had married a complete stranger. And now she was leaving behind everything she had ever known to venture into the unknown.
She had to do this for Ananya and the stranger who was now her own husband, Dr. Salim Verma.
~*~
Anita was tired. Ananya’s death followed by the travelling and nights spent sleeping on a couch in the hospital was starting to take a toll on her health. She hadn’t expected to travel so much when she left Shimla. Salim, her newly wedded husband, had some stuff to wrap up in Delhi regarding postponed surgeries, conferences and what not. There were times she wondered if Salim even felt her presence. It had been nine days since they left Shimla and they still hadn’t reached home. When they reached Bangalore three days back she had believed they would finally go to his house. Instead they had been shuffling between hospitals and colleges. Most of the nights she had slept on the couch in the busy waiting area, but she ended up waking every time someone opened the door. Salim had failed to show her to his room where she could rest. Some staff members got her food and had guided her to the office restroom to take a bath. She gave her laundry to one of the ward boys. It had been three hours since she messaged Milind, Salim’s cousin and her only friend in the city, but she hadn’t received any replies yet. She was feeling weak and wanted to lie down for some time. She made her handbag into a temporary pillow and eased her body into one of the couches in the waiting area.
During the past few weeks they had spent travelling she had seen Salim’s tender side, a side which never came to the fore when he was with her. He went out of the way in helping people. She had seen him settle payments for patients who couldn’t afford the treatment. Chotu, the ward boy, had told her how Salim has a charity organization through which they found needy patients to give free treatment. And she noticed he helped personal
ly as well.
He spent quality time with his patients. She had seen him interacting with kids as well. She was surprised to see all these positive traits in Salim. She felt a pang of hurt. Why does he have only anger and hatred for her? And nowadays he didn’t even acknowledge her presence. She had tried to remain invisible to the world all her life but somehow it hurt when she was invisible to Salim.
She felt the tears of pain soaking her handbag as sleep engulfed her tired body. Soon she was oblivious to the world.
Salim wanted to exhaust himself to the brink so he wouldn’t remember Ananya, his lost love. So far Anita had never made any demands on his time. Their interaction was limited to Anita coming to his office to give him his medicines but today she didn’t bring those either. Finally a crack on her otherwise perfect show, he thought. He sent the ward boy to ask Anita for his medicine but he came back to tell him he couldn’t find her anywhere. At first Salim thought Anita must be running late but when she didn’t show up after about an hour, he started to get worried. He dialed her number but she didn’t pick the call.
“Damn!” He spat. Even if she picked the phone she wouldn’t speak. She was mute after all. He decided to text her to find out where she was.
~~~**~~~
Few days ago, Shimla
Salim woke up to a searing pain. He looked around and saw that he was in a hospital. There was an IV attached to his hand and some strangers were hovering around him. He tried to get up but couldn’t, then he felt a pair of strong arms hold him down. He looked into the deep grey eyes of a big man who looked as if he was going through a tough time. A nurse on the other side of the bed was trying to soothe Salim. Why would anyone try to soothe him? Where was Ananya? Then he recalled that both of them were going to meet Anita, Ananya’s twin, when the accident took place.
“Where’s . . . Ananya?” It hurt to even speak out aloud.
“You must rest, Doctor.” the nurse said.
Who is she to stop me from enquiring? Without heeding to the nurses’ protests he managed to get up. The pain was searing through him but he couldn’t lie down.
“Where is she?” he raised his voice.
“Please, Doctor!” This time the man who had held him down, spoke. His voice was commanding.
“Don’t you dare command me!”
Salim tried to pull the IV out of his hand and realized his right arm was in a cast. Despite the pain he somehow managed to pull it out. Salim stood up and swayed for a moment. He knew when such questions as his were avoided. This is not happening. He couldn’t lose Ananya just like he had lost his parents. He was hurting everywhere but the physical pain was nothing compared to the pain he felt emanating from his heart. He wanted to pace like a caged animal but his pain was restricting him. When the door of his hospital room opened, he turned and saw that Ananya stood there, looking a lot paler. Her hair was tied in a tight braid. Her eyes were red and swollen, her lips trembling. He smiled and with the little energy he could muster, he walked over and pulled her to him and kissed her hard on the lips. He then kissed her swollen eyes, her red nose.
“Are you okay?” He tried to look for any injuries or bruises on her body. Without waiting for her answer Salim carried on. “I am fine, absolutely fine,” he whispered as he kissed her cheeks. “Nothing happened to me.” He kissed her again on her lips but was surprised by the lack of warmth from her. Somehow she looked and felt different.
“What have you done to yourself?” Salim asked.
He noticed her confused glance and saw the man who had held him down coming towards them. Of course this man will be surprised. Ananya must not have mentioned about me to anyone here Salim thought.
Then he noticed Ananya was not holding on to him. He moved back a little when he saw her lips trembling badly. He took one of her hands in his. “Look at me, Ananya.”
A painful sob broke from her lips but she tried to stifle it with her other hand. The man came forward and placed his hand on Salim’s shoulder. “She is not Ananya. She is Anita, Ananya’s twin.”
He looked at Anita without any reaction. He stood still as a stone and with a sudden movement his hands clutched the back of her neck and pulled her to him.
“Stop playing games with me! What are you trying to achieve, Ananya?”
Her eyes widened, her hand went around him and the other clutched his shirt. There was pain in her eyes but she didn’t make a sound.
“Leave her alone.” The man’s voice boomed through the hospital room.
The nurse stood frozen by the bed, fear written all over her face. The man held Salim’s arm in a tight grip. When the woman in his arms turned ever so slightly to the man he let go of Salim’s arm. The reality slowly started seeping in.
“No!” His painful denial was audible to all. “Why couldn’t you be dead instead of Ananya?”
Anita moved back as if he had slapped her but she didn’t make a sound. His voice was barely audible but his words had seared through her like he had engraved them on her being.
Salim felt his knees giving away. He couldn’t let himself drift into oblivion again, as the last one had taken Ananya away from him. The man supported him as the nurse came over to help. Soon Salim was back in the bed.
“I want to see Ananya.”
“I will take you to her,” said the man.
“Who are you?”
“I am Surendra Singh.”
Salim remembered Ananya telling him about Surendra Singh, their benefactor. He had adopted the twins when their parents died. Surendra was twenty-one when the accident happened and the girls were twelve. Their father was his employee. Salim had wondered how a single guy at the age of twenty-one could adopt two girls but guessed that his royal status had helped him do it. Surendra had helped Ananya and Anita to have a good education as well. Now Salim understood the protective nature the man had shown. He saw Surendra going towards Anita and holding her to him. Slowly Salim drifted into an uncomfortable slumber.
When Salim woke up next he checked himself for the first time. He had a broken shoulder. That was the cause of the pain and his not being able to move the right arm. He knew he had some kind of an ankle support on his left leg from his constricted movement and his knees also bore the brunt of the hit. The right side of his face seemed swollen and bruised. Then he saw some movement and turned to see Anita standing by the bed. He felt his anger rise. He was alive when Ananya was no longer breathing in the same world as him. It was going to be hell knowing he will be alone, without Ananya’s bright smile, without her sweet songs and laughter. How can Anita be alive when Ananya, her twin, is dead? All Ananya wanted for Anita was to understand companionship. But while Ananya had been worried about Anita, she had made her own happy world with Surendra. Salim felt hatred for this woman who looked so similar to his Ananya, yet was in no way like her.
Anita stood by the side of the bed without making a sound. He looked at her with so much anger and hatred that she flinched, turned, and went towards the door when suddenly Surendra came in. He held Anita by the shoulder and looked at her.
“You ok?” Surendra asked. Anita nodded.
How can they both plan to be together when everything is so lifeless without Ananya? Salim didn’t know where that thought came from but seeing Surendra hold Anita so close and protectively gnawed at his heart.
“Take me to Ananya.” Salim commanded.
Surendra and Anita turned together. Surendra looked into Salim’s angry eyes and excused himself saying that he needed to make arrangements as Salim would need assistance to move.
~*~
Surendra was called immediately by the hospital when Salim and Ananya were brought in since Ananya had his number as an emergency contact. He was given their belongings without question. Surendra was finding it difficult to believe his little girl Ananya was no longer alive. But his practical side took over. He had gone over their belongings and found out that Ananya was involved with Salim. There were messages and photos in both their phones which sugges
ted them being in a relationship. He wanted to look for a number to call so he could let Salim’s family know of his accident when he got a call on Salim’s phone by someone named Milind. He told Milind about the situation and Milind informed that he will try to reach Shimla as soon as possible. Salim had not yet asked for his phone but Surendra felt he should return it soon.
He wanted to hit Salim when he had held Anita and kissed her like he owned her. But he knew the girls were identical twins and Salim had just lost his woman. This was his desperate attempt to bring Ananya back, especially after seeing someone that looked hauntingly similar. He couldn’t imagine how he would have reacted if Anita was lost. Both the girls were special to him but he had a special interest in Anita. He had never mentioned it to her though. He never felt paternal with the girls; he was just their benefactor. And most of their upbringing was done by his governess, Aayi. Surendra and Anita had maintained a great friendship with each other. She was a good listener and she responded in sign language. He had learned the sign language just to understand her. It was recently that he realized he had deeper feelings for her than merely friendship.
They were going to cremate Ananya in the electric crematorium. He had an inkling Salim would want to be there. He wondered about Salim’s name with the last name Verma. He had tried to check about the doctor and was surprised to get information on the Verma ‘Clan’ as they were called and its weird togetherness and the size.
~*~
Anita felt it odd that Surendra had texted her to come to the hospital. She was not very comfortable in hospitals since it reminded her of the day she had lost her parents. She and Ananya had been in a hospital as the authorities had waited for Surendra Singh, her father’s employer, to come and decide what to do with the girls. Surendra had adopted them and had grown to be her friend, a soothing presence. He knew she was not comfortable in hospitals, so if he still called her there it would be something important. She hoped Surendra was okay.