Yours To Love Yours To Take Read online

  When she arrived in her two-wheeler, Surendra was standing right at the front of the hospital. His face was grave. She tried to smile at him but he didn’t reciprocate. He let his hands rest on her back and guided her inside. She had an ominous feeling that she was going to receive bad news. She started twisting one end of her scarf in nervousness. He took her to one of the Doctors’ rooms and motioned her to sit on a chair. She dreaded to hear whatever he had to say.

  “Anita, did you know Ananya was coming home?”

  She frowned and shook her head to tell him she didn’t.

  “Did she mention she might bring someone along?”

  She didn’t remember Ananya ever mentioning that. A sudden happiness engulfed her; her sister might have found her special guy. With quick movements in sign language she asked him, “Did she mention it to you? Why is she scared to tell me? I am not her mother to find fault with her. But if she is coming why are you making me sit here? Let’s go. We need to be home when she reaches.”

  Surendra caught her hand before she could snatch it away. “She had a guy with her. From the ID we got to know he is a doctor. A Dr. Salim.”

  Had? What did he mean by that?’ In frantic signs, she asked Surendra but he kept his head lowered. A painful wail left her lips. He stood up, startled. He had never heard her voice after the accident in which her parents had died. She stood up abruptly, her chair crashing behind her as she got up. He went around and held her shoulders but she stared at him as if she didn’t even see him. Anita then tried to push him away but he didn’t budge. Finally, Surendra had to shake her hard to make her look at him.

  “She left us” Surendra’s voice broke.

  She shook her head and tried to push him away. He didn’t let her go so she started to push him harder and soon she was fighting his hold. She had to escape this nightmare. Of course this was a nightmare. This couldn’t be true. She needed to wake up and everything would be okay but Surendra had to let her go for her to wake up from this terrible dream. She fought harder. She knew her nails would hurt him as she dug them into his skin but she believed it was just a dream; she was not hurting him in real.

  Shaking her hard Surendra repeated. “She left us. Ananya left us, Anita. You have to accept that.”

  Managing to push him away Anita backed away from him.

  She stood with her back plastered to the wall. She shut her eyes tight. This couldn’t be happening. Her parents had left her but she had always had Ananya. They came together into this world; they will be together forever, giving each other the support they both needed. Then how did this happen? She looked around as if searching for a way to escape this nightmare. She closed her eyes. She felt the whole world tilting from its axis. She started counting her breath to stop panicking. One. Inhale . . . Exhale. Two. Inhale . . . Exhale

  “Anita! Anita!” Surendra came closer. Seeing her like this hurt him. He had lost Ananya already. He didn’t want to lose Anita too. Ananya was the life of the house and Anita the calmness. The girls had stopped staying in his house once they finished their studies and got jobs. They both were independent and had too much self-pride for their own good. But still they were always a part of his family.

  Anita opened her eyes and looked at Surendra. He could see she was struggling to hold her emotions in check. Her eyes were red and he could see a throbbing vein stand out on her forehead.

  But Anita took a deep breath and started asking in sign language, “The man with Ananya . . . How is he?”

  “He is unconscious with a broken shoulder, a sprained ankle and his face badly bruised. Doctors hope he has no internal or head injury. They didn’t find anything in scanning” he said.

  She nodded. “I want to see her” she said in sign language.

  Surendra nodded. He had great respect for this girl. Though she was the same age as Ananya, Anita had taken on the role of an elder sister in both the girls’ life. He was told she was four minutes elder to Ananya and she had stayed true to her being elder. She was doing the same now. She was being the elder sister even after Ananya’s death.

  Life is cruel. Surendra cursed and took Anita to the mortuary.

  Unlike the ones in the movies, the mortuary did not feel creepy to Anita. She thought it strange that the mortuary felt just like another part of the hospital. She walked just behind Surendra. She didn’t remember seeing her parents in the mortuary. They had been brought to the house just before they were taken away for the last rites.

  Surendra paused at a table and looked at Anita. Her face looked blank, devoid of any expression. He removed the sheet from Ananya’s face.

  Squaring her shoulders and taking a deep breath, Anita peered at her dead sister’s body. She frowned at first, and then noticed the black mole on her nose. Before turning away she looked at Ananya once more and walked out without a word.

  Surendra knew Ananya’s face would haunt them both till their last breath. If Anita had shown disbelief at the body being of her sister, he would have felt better. But here she was, going inside her own impregnable shell, stopping the communication of her thoughts.

  Anita walked back into the room they had sat in earlier and stood by the chair. Then she abruptly turned towards him. Her eyes were red and the emotions she was bottling up were clear. “Have you told Dr. Salim?” she asked in sign language.

  He shook his head in the negative.

  “We should go and check on him. Have you informed his family?”

  He watched her with more awe than shock in seeing her take things calmly. Then he realized it’s her way of coping with grief. He nodded and was about to go out when she gestured him to stop.

  “Which room is he in?” she communicated.

  “He is on the third floor in room number 309.”

  She nodded and gestured, “You carry on. I will join you in a minute.”

  He agreed. He could give her that much space.

  Anita had cried but had stopped herself before she lost complete control. The moment she opened the door to Dr. Salim’s room she saw this tall and battered man walking like a caged panther. He turned to look at her. Suddenly his dark dead eyes lit up with hope. One moment she was standing at the door and the next the man had her in his arms. First she didn’t understand but soon his words made sense. He thought she was Ananya. Before she could gather her senses he was kissing her on her face, her eyes, and her lips. She was shocked beyond words. Surendra’s voice boomed and he was beside them in a jiffy as Salim held on to her. Salim’s words brought her back to reality and were like cold water on her face.

  “Why couldn’t you be dead instead of Ananya?” Salim had accused her.

  He was so right, why wasn’t she in the mortuary instead of Ananya? Her mute life was not as worthy as Ananya’s, she thought. She saw Surendra and the nurse help the man back to his bed and soon he slipped into unconsciousness. Surendra came to her side and held her close. She needed the comfort.

  There was too much in her head. Surendra had said that Ananya was in a relationship with this man. Surendra was sure of it but she didn’t want to ask him how he knew. She trusted him. She felt a pang of anger and pain build up inside her. Her sister always shared everything with her but she had thought to hide this particular detail. And now Ananya was dead. Her twin her sister who had started life along with her in their mother’s womb was no longer breathing in this world.

  After Salim went to sleep she had told Surendra she wanted to stay in the hospital. She was trying to delay the moment she would go back to the house which held many reminders of Ananya, her lost half. Their heart had started to beat together and now hers is still beating but Ananya’s had ceased. She felt a pang of jealousy for this stranger who had been with Ananya. He had lived the final moments with her. Then he would be something special for Ananya. She wanted to talk about Ananya with him, the time she spent with him. Letting out a sigh she realized she would be going with Surendra for Ananya’s cremation soon. Since it was an accident they didn’t want to keep her bod
y for long. There was no one they had to wait for.

  When Salim opened his eyes she saw pure anger and hatred for her reflected in them. She flinched at his hatred and rushed towards the door.

  ~~~*~~~

  Present day, Bangalore

  Salim felt a dread spreading over him. He asked the ward boy where he had seen Anita last. He told him that she was always in the waiting area. Then he remembered he had not shown her his room to wait in. Salim cursed aloud at his carelessness. It had never even occurred to him to show her his room to take rest. He ran to the waiting area and looked around but couldn’t find her. Has she run away? He thought she was made of sterner stuff but had she finally broken and left?

  Salim heard a familiar sound and saw Milind, his cousin, talking to the staff.

  “Where is Anita?” Both of them asked the same question when they saw each other.

  Milind took out his phone and dialed Anita’s number. Suddenly Salim felt an odd fear grip him when they heard it ringing. They both rushed into the waiting room. The ring came from the very back of the waiting area, behind the last row. Why was her phone at the back hidden from the view? Did someone hurt her? His worst fear seemed to be coming true. They saw Anita lying in a fetal position on a couch. He felt his stomach drop.

  “Anita?” A painful wail escaped from Salim. He couldn’t even lift her up with his fractured hand. Soon Milind dropped to his knees.

  “Oh my God! Anita? Anita?” Milind shook her but she didn’t respond. Milind lifted her up easily as if she was weightless. He carried her out of the waiting room to the Emergency. Once there the Doctor on duty took over.

  “Who is she?” The doctor asked.

  “She’s my wife. What is wrong with her Doctor?” Salim asked.

  “Nothing’s wrong. Her vitals are all normal. She is sleeping. She looks exhausted.”

  “Then why is she not responding?”

  “The only explanation I can give is that she probably didn’t get enough sleep for quite some time. Let me try this.” He took some water and splashed on Anita’s face. Startled, Anita opened her eyes and looked around. She tried to smile, then made a few signs and went back to sleep. Salim let out a deep breath.

  “Thank God! She gave us a fright. Thanks, Doctor.”

  Salim turned towards the ward boy and asked him to fetch his and Anita’s bags as they moved to Milind’s car. Salim settled in the front passenger seat and Milind slowly placed Anita at the back.

  Milind drove them home. He felt angry at Salim for treating Anita so badly.

  Milind carried Anita into the bedroom and placed her on the king-sized bed.

  Salim followed them in and lay down on the other side of the bed.

  This must be their first night together on the same bed. Milind chuckled and went into the spare bedroom.

  Chapter 2

  Death, acceptance and final goodbye

  The smell of freshly brewing coffee woke Salim up. He stirred and his shoulder hurt. He looked towards his right and saw his wood nymph sleeping peacefully, her face calm.

  “Ananya!” The name escaped from his lips. As soon as he uttered the name he realized this girl was Anita, not his Ananya. It was for the first time he looked at her, not as Ananya’s look-alike but as Anita. He had to admit she had the grit as she stood strong every time he had tried to hurt her.

  ~~~*~~~

  Few days back, Shimla

  “Where’s my phone?” Salim asked Anita as he lay on the hospital bed in Shimla.

  Anita walked to the table by the side of his bed, took the phone out from the drawer and gave it to him. His fingers brushed hers. He pulled back his hand as if he had touched something revolting. She flinched at his reaction and moved away to the window.

  She was leaning on the window when she heard him speak on the phone. “Till yesterday her sister was alive and breathing and now she isn’t. How come she is still breathing this air, when her other half no longer exists? Doesn’t this air seem denser with pain making it harder for her to breath?”

  Anita took a deep breath.

  Before she realized what had happened she felt herself spun around. Startled, she looked at Salim. She hadn’t expected him to be out of bed.

  “What do you plan to do now that Ananya is dead?” He lashed out, his eyes boring into her. “Her house in Mumbai would be yours, right?” Salim’s grip on her arm was tightening.

  She narrowed her eyes. She may look weak but she didn’t like being hauled, not that she had ever been pushed around roughly. She was always treated as a breakable china doll. Everyone was very soft and loving to her. But if she was pushed around she wouldn’t take it. Anita jerked her arm loose from his grip and moved away from Salim.

  “Does Surendra know your wishes? He doesn’t look like a man who would like such a calculative mind as yours, so what do you plan? Is your plan to make him fall for your tears and marry you?” Salim trembled with anger and hatred.

  She took a deep breath, to control her anger. It’s his way of getting a grip on Ananya’s death, she told herself.

  “So you plan to live happily with your Surendra, conveniently forgetting Ananya?” His voice broke when he mentioned her name. He wanted her to react.

  Anita flinched at his harsh words.

  Salim moved closer and gripped her arm again. He was getting a sudden sadistic urge to find her breaking point. He increased the pressure on her arm. “Her death doesn’t bother you, does it?”

  Her face contorted in pain. He felt a satisfaction to see her calm breaking.

  “Well! I am going to give you a chance to show me how much Ananya meant to you” Salim said.

  Anita didn’t have a clue what he was blabbering and why. It seemed like he just wanted to lash out, without caring about how, where or on whom.

  “I want you to see the pain I am going through, I want you to feel the hollow Ananya’s death has left in me. I want you to see how my life has been snatched from me. Yes! She gave me life. I was living earlier too but she gave me my smile, my laughter. She showed me I can actually look forward to a happy life with one person.” He let go of her arm and combed his hair with fingers. She could feel his pain. Slowly she raised her hand and just when she would have placed it on his shoulder; he held her wrist with a sudden movement.

  “Don’t!” His jaw muscles worked as if he was struggling to hold his anger in check. It looked as if he wanted to hurt her and didn’t feel bad about it either. Then as if coming to a decision Salim said, “Will you do anything to prove Ananya meant something to you?”

  Her head rose in defiance. How dare he question her bond with her sister? Ananya was not just her sister, she was her twin. They came to being together. Not only were they together in this world, their journey in their mother’s womb was also together. She had always been protective of Ananya. How dare a stranger who has been with Ananya for a couple of days or weeks or months question her? She felt her anger rise. Ananya never kept secrets from her, but she had never mentioned anything about Salim. And here he is, daring to judge her. She just stared at him. She couldn’t use sign language since he wouldn’t understand.

  There was a knock on the door. She tried to free her wrist to go and open the door but he tightened his grip.

  She looked up at him and saw a ghost of a smile lurking on his face. There was pure hatred in his eyes and the glint of a plan. She could sense him planning something bad. He suddenly pulled her to him. She tried to stop from falling on his hurt arm but still ended up slamming on to his chest. He held her there, his face inches from her.

  “Are you up for it?” Salim asked.

  She frowned. ‘What is running in his head?’

  “I want you to see the hell I am in. What my life without Ananya is. I don’t want you to live happily with Surendra, or anyone for that matter, while I burn in hell. Do you have it in you to tread in hell with me?” His eyes held a challenge for her.

  What is he talking about? Out of the many things he had mentioned, f
ew twisted her heart but few just went over her head. ‘Why would she live with Surendra? Did he think she still lived with him or that she was in love with him?’ Every word Salim had spoken had left a scar in her heart. She didn’t know whether her grief or her own hell prompted her but she held her head high and nodded.

  He smirked; a slow smile spreading on his lips but never reaching his eyes. She could see that his smile held an evil intent, yet she wanted to go into the hell he was inviting her to. Without Ananya, her life was not worth living and it wouldn’t make a difference any which way. If she can in any way help Salim to attain peace, she would play along. She believed he would come to his senses once the shock weaned off.

  Letting her free, Salim moved a couple of steps back.

  “Come in.” He shouted in the general direction of the door. Three formally dressed men came in and introduced themselves as advocates.

  “Hello! I want you to make a couple of papers ready immediately. One will be a special license to get married.” Salim looked at Anita. She gasped and backed into the wall behind her.

  “You don’t want to marry me just to put me in hell.” She frantically made gestures in sign language. When she saw Salim frown she realized he didn’t understand a word she had communicated.

  Somehow guessing what she must have said, Salim came to her and slipped his hand around her waist, and brought his lips to her ears. “You wanted to walk in hell with me, remember?”

  She swallowed hard. ‘Yes, but marriage?’ She gestured and looked into his eyes. He parted his lips to say something, and then shook his head as if he was shaking his thoughts off and lifted her chin, challenging her, “Are you up for it?”

  She took a deep breath and nodded. He was beyond lost in his pain, anger and hatred. If not this he would find some other stupid way to counter his grief. The least she could do for him, for Ananya’s sake, was to play along as she had thought to earlier.