Yours To Love Yours To Take Read online

  He bent to let his lips caress her earlobe.

  “Do you see what you do to me?” His lips traced her jaw and he kissed right under her chin. She made a small gasping sound. As he lifted his head to look at her half closed eyes, her lips parted waiting for his. With no further ado, he pressed his lips gently on hers. First, he let her feel his lips and slowly he let the tip of his tongue touch her lips, first upper then lower. She pressed herself closer to his body, her hands going around his torso. He let his teeth nibble her lips. Then in a quick movement, his tongue dipped into the untouched velvet softness of her mouth, and her hands clutched his shirt. Her soft body was pressing into him, trying to remove the non-existing space between them. Soon his tongue found the hidden taverns inside her mouth. Her knees gave away and had he not held her, she would have collapsed. Easing her to the bed he kneeled by her side and slowly, very carefully he took off her Kurta. Mesmerized, he watched her snow white sports bra covering her perky swells.

  Long tapered surgeons’ fingers caressed her flat tummy. She pulled in her tummy as the touch sent a jolt of electricity through her and her knees came up. Slowly easing her legs down, he pulled down her parallels. His hands guided her arms around him and soon his lips pressed at the small hard bud which pushed against her bra. Letting out a whimper her hands clutched his shoulders. The other bud didn’t have to wait long for a similar treatment. She was biting her lips to hold her moans of pleasure. He removed her bra and her eyes flew open, the doubt in her eyes soon lost as she saw his eager eyes drinking in her beauty. Soon he pressed his lips in the valley between her heaving breasts. She closed her eyes and as his lips explored the valley and the mounds which created the valley. He swiftly pulled off her last barrier. One moment his lips and tongue was pleasuring her and the other he moved away to pull his shirt off and climbed on top of her, letting her feel his body against hers. She squirmed under him. Shyly her finger fumbled at his belt. He chuckled and he moved away again just for a moment.

  “Open your eyes.”

  She slowly opened her eyes and saw him kneeling. He had freed himself off his clothes. Her shy eyes widened at his impressive length. Ananya’s nervous eyes lifted to meet his. Another jolt awaited both of them as their bodies pressed against each other.

  “God! Woman, you will be the death of me.”

  And this time there was nothing slow when his lips closed on hers. Her arms didn’t hesitate this time to go around him. Arms and legs entwined while feeling and gripping each other hungrily. Making sure her body was relaxed and ready to let him in, he eased a pillow to support her back and applied a slight pressure to let himself in. She flinched at the invasion and let out a stifled cry of pain.

  “Shhh . . . I am so sorry, it will hurt just this time.” One hand caressing her hip and the other caressing below her navel, he buried himself in. She took a few deep breaths and as he started moving in a rhythm, he felt her relax. It didn’t take long for her to bite down her lips to stifle her cries of pleasure.

  “Just let it go, there is no one who would hear us.” He said in a broken husky voice. He felt her grow taut and finally a scream of pleasure escaped her mouth as she let go and soon he followed her to the pinnacle she had reached. He collapsed on her but in a few seconds he rolled over, taking her along with him.

  Ananya: The promise of a new beginning turned into ‘the end’

  Once he made sure she was sleeping he moved her aside and he found the bathroom. He picked up a towel, filled a mug with warm water and came over to sit next to her and cleaned her sore part. She stirred in her slumber.

  ‘Salim!’ Her sleepy voice sent a jolt of desire through him. He tried hard to curb his feelings. He wanted her but he could wait until she had rested a little. Feeling her eyes on him he looked at her. She sat up and flinched. He caressed her right cheek.

  “Sorry honey!”

  She smiled and moved so she could sit on his lap. He smiled and pulled her closer. When she noticed how his body changed instantaneously, he chuckled. “That’s a man’s anatomy for you, lady!”

  She hid her face into the nook of his neck. He pulled her closer and soon her soreness was forgotten.

  The weekend was mostly spent in bed or on the couch. By evening they both knew each other’s pleasure spots like the back of their hands. The time when he had to leave was upon them. Sunday evening he had to catch his flight and he soon had his bags packed to leave. Finally he hugged her good bye and pulled her again to him.

  “This is just the beginning.” He kissed her hard on her lips.

  Her innocence and frankness had blown him away. He liked being with her. Unlike other women he had been with, he did not want to leave this one alone. But she had her work waiting just as he had his.

  The next two months were busy with their respective jobs and them trying to manage at least a weekend together. One evening Ananya informed him that she is going to meet her sister and asked if he would like to come along.

  Ananya had once told him about the accident she and her sister had lost their parents in, and how she had lost consciousness immediately after the accident whereas Anita was not so lucky. She had screamed and screamed until someone heard them and was found with both the parents dead and one unconscious twin. She was all bloodied and hoarse with all the screaming for almost five hours. Ananya explained how Anita had never spoken after that. First everyone had assumed it was because of the screaming but soon realized the accident had affected the little girl into losing her voice. She had told him if Anita sees them together and happy may be she would start wanting to have a similar beautiful life for herself.

  He had started this relationship as a passing phase. But it had stretched from one weekend to the next and the next. Now he was going to meet her sister. Where was this relationship headed?

  Seeing him silent and brooding she had hugged him and said, “Don’t worry! This is not to trap you into any commitments. It’s just to trigger a will in Anita to find the beauty in life. I am happy as we are. The moment you feel you want to end our relationship, you just have to say the word and I will go”

  He knew he was the first man in her life. If she has jumped into a relationship which had no future knowing it from the first and still be so giving, she should have special feelings for him. He wondered if he should ask her about her feelings for him and what she expected of him in this relationship. Was this relationship moving towards permanency? Then he thought he should wait till they return after their trip to Shimla. What he didn’t foresee was that the wait to ask her was never going to end.

  They were driving from Shimla airport to meet Anita when the accident happened. One moment they were driving, he cracked a joke and Ananya was laughing like crazy, and suddenly there was an explosive sound and their car was flipping. He had watched the still smiling face of Ananya till everything went black.

  ~~~*~~~

  Present day, Bangalore

  All he had done to torment Anita was crashing in on Salim. He had made her feel guilty for being alive. If anyone was to be blamed for Ananya’s death, it was he himself. He could have driven the car himself and Ananya would have survived the crash. Or he could have died with her. Instead he lived to become the monster he had turned out to be, to torture this poor soul. He had not only pulled her into his hell, the monster in him had stolen every opportunity of her finding happiness after the loss of Ananya. How will he ever wash his sins away? How will Anita ever forgive him? With a shock he realized her forgiveness mattered to him. His hope to find a life with her was selfish. She deserved a better and beautiful life, he thought.

  His attraction for Anita was gnawing at him. He was no longer seeing Ananya in Anita. Their personalities were so different. Instead, in these few months together, he had started feeling closer to Anita, started feeling attracted to her. His attraction for her had threatened to break lose that night when they spoke to Surendra. And he was thankful Anita had put a stop to it.

  Today he feared his mom and aun
t would see Anita and feel ashamed of him because he couldn’t keep his anger in check, especially for an innocent mute girl.

  Once his mother and aunt had settled in, Salim quickly stole a moment to go to Seema.

  “Please keep Anita away.” Salim requested Seema. She never showed any emotions but right now Salim could discern her disapproval. “I know what I am doing is not right. But it is the demand of time. I will tell them about Anita someday but not today.” Salim pleaded. Seema just nodded and went back to her duties.

  While eating dinner Salim wondered where Anita was. He hadn’t seen her anywhere the whole day. That night he turned and tossed in bed. He realized she never even came to the room to sleep. Normally he loved it when his Aunt and Mom stayed for a couple of days but today he wanted them to leave. But they had insisted on keeping him company for a couple of days. They didn’t leave for three days. During their stay there he never even saw a glimpse of Anita. He was getting restless.

  Just as Dia and Mia’s car left the premises Salim went in search of Seema. He found her in the Kitchen garden.

  Chapter 6

  Distraught, intimacy and rejection

  “Where is Anita?”

  Seema looked at him for a few seconds. She usually never took that long to answer. “In the store room” she finally answered.

  “What is she doing there?” He frowned.

  Salim rushed to the store room without waiting for a response. He was not prepared for the shock that awaited him. He saw Anita had turned a corner of the storeroom into her bedroom. There was a dilapidated cot in the corner and she was lying under the sheets.

  “Anita!” he came closer. When she didn’t stir, he bent and touched her forehead. She had fever.

  He scooped her up in his arms in one go. “Seema!” he shouted. If his carrying her had not woken Anita up, his shout certainly did. He carried her to his room. She looked at him, confused. He motioned at her to lie down. Without arguing, she lay down on the farthest corner of the bed and pulled the blanket up to her chin.

  Seema rushed in at that moment.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” “Sir, with your mother and aunt here, I didn’t want to attract their attention on her.”

  “Anita’s health is more important than them knowing about her.” his voice was exasperated.

  “Sir, there is nothing to worry. Anita ma’am has a viral fever.” Seema told him.

  “Are you the doctor or am I?”

  “Dr. Raji had come to check her. She is my doctor. I had asked her to come, as I couldn’t take her out without your mother and aunt noticing.” Seema said.

  Salim massaged his head.

  “You guys had so much trouble because of me.” he said, in barely a whisper.

  “The medicine is making her sleepy. The doctor said she should be fine in two more days.”

  Soon there was a role reversal. He realized what a deep well of pain and sorrow he had dug around himself and pulled her into it. He took care of Anita. He fed her and gave her medicines on time. She started to recover but her tiredness persisted.

  Anita had a habit of retreating into the store room, he noted. He wanted to stop her but he didn’t have the courage. If that was her personal space, he didn’t want her to feel he was taking it away from her. He realized how he had driven her to find solace in the store room. He did hint at her to use the other rooms. She had just shrugged.

  As normalcy returned, he realized the attraction he had hid or so long was starting to resurface and he hated himself for it. He couldn’t believe he had started lusting after her sister even before he could forget Ananya. He thought it best if she left. He needed to send her away. Surendra had mentioned her house still awaits her, and Surendra’s house was hers as well. Surendra loved her. Surendra would keep her happy, unlike him who had only ever tormented her.

  He noticed that Anita had started to smile more around him. Sometimes when he worked, she sat in the same room reading. One evening he couldn’t help himself and drank a little more whiskey than he was used to. He felt a little tipsy. Trying to escape Seema and Anita’s eyes he sneaked into the room only to find her arranging the sheets. She looked up at him and smiled. She was wearing a soft pink cotton nighty. With a closed round neck and full sleeves, it was the least enticing dress one could wear. The water from her wet hair was making her nighty stick to her skin, leaving transparent patches and giving away her shape. She tucked her hair back while completing her chores. He didn’t know what took over him but he was next to her in two strides. With one push she was flat on her back on the bed, and he was on her. She tried to push him away but his lips closed on hers. With a gasp at the sensation it evoked in her, she parted her lips. As if waiting for a cue his tongue found its way into the soft caverns of her mouth. Soon she was drowning as his lips and tongue explored the territory. Her one hand caressed his hair and the other went around his back. Her long slender neck was tempting him like crazy. His lips slid down her skin and nipped her jaw, kissed the sensitive skin underneath and slowly slid down to kiss her neck which had been enticing him since long. As he lifted his head to drink in her face, his eyes fell on Ananya’s photo. The shock crashed in. He had forgotten about Ananya and he was eagerly making love to her sister right in front of her.

  “Oh God! Even alcohol is not enough for me to imagine you as Ananya.”

  Her half closed eyes in throes of new pleasures flew open. One moment she was looking at him shocked and the next she slapped him hard. Moving back he sat up and laughed, his hands massaging his cheeks.

  “Did that hurt so badly? I thought you wanted everything of hers including me. What better way than this?” He motioned to the bed. “Love, for all you try I might bed you, I am human after all and you resemble HER so much. But whatever may happen, you will never be my wood nymph.”

  He heard a painful intake of breath. She stood up and walked out.

  Anita had felt as if she was floating for the last couple of days. Day by day she was closer to him. His presence was giving her a tingly feel which she had started to enjoy. Her plan to go back was now on the back burner. She craved for his presence more and more. The way he had taken care of her in her illness, supporting her when she had to move around, attracted her to him.

  She was shocked when he had pushed her on the bed but soon she had completely drowned in the sensation his lips and hands left on her skin. Then his words had hit her like lightening; a splash of ice cold water on her hot skin. The trail of kisses he had marked across her neck had set her on fire. But then his words brought her crashing back to reality.

  He still thought of her as an opportunist, a cunning plotter. But his last words that he might bed her as she looked like Ananya had felt like a blow below the belt. She couldn’t handle it. For the first time in her life a violent anger had seized her and she had slapped him. She had gone to her haven, the store room, without a word.

  Anita lay down on the bed. She couldn’t cry. She tried hard not to think of anything. She just stared at the blank roof trying to see patterns which didn’t exit.

  Chapter 7

  Anguish, pang and comfort

  Anita didn’t know how long she lay there when she felt his hands on her shoulder. She pushed his hands away and moved back in a jiffy. A cold panic seized her. As if realizing her fear, Salim raised his hands up and took two steps back. She saw the flicker of pain on his face. Has he come to apologize? She was too hurt to feel forgiving, she thought. His words would hurt for a long time.

  “My granny is in the hospital.” His voice was heavy and remorseful.

  She quickly got up. “Should we go to her?” she asked in her sign language.

  “Would you come with me?” He asked, even without understanding what she meant.

  She nodded. However much he hurt her, she couldn’t bear to see him in pain.

  His grandmother Gayatri was the foundation of the Verma clan. She was the one who started this family. She had adopted his mom, aunt, and uncles. She was
what made them all a strong entity. It wouldn’t be easy for anyone if anything happened to her. He asked his driver to drive. He knew his family would probably be shocked at seeing Anita but he wanted her to be with him. He was silent throughout their journey to the hospital. He started fidgeting as they got stuck in traffic.

  Seeing his uneasiness Anita placed her hand on his. She tilted her head a little to the side and nodded. He nodded anxiously.

  Salim had made love to Anita and not Ananya. But when his eyes had fallen on Ananya’s life size photo he had realized he had to let Anita free from the sufferings and pain he has trapped her into. Making love to her would further trap her with him. And it would be humiliating if he made love to Anita with photos of Ananya surrounding their bed. He had purposefully placed Ananya’s photos around them in the beginning to make Anita feel the agony. But now he couldn’t do that to her innocent soul and the only way he could push her away was by hurting her. And he had managed to do that. The ever calm Anita had slapped him. But that was too less a punishment for dragging her through his hell.

  Once alone in the bedroom he had got a call from Milind’s sister saying their Grandmother’s condition was bad. And the only person he wanted to go to the hospital with was Anita. She was the solace he wanted with him at a moment like this. He watched her hands holding his in an attempt to comfort him.

  At that moment Salim got a call from the hospital telling him his granny was out of danger. They had almost lost her but she had bounced back to life. A burst of laughter escaped his lips. Anita looked at him surprised when he cut the phone. The relief, the happiness was evident in his eyes.

  “Granny is fine. She just bounced back to life.”

  Anita smiled. His smile would always stay with her where ever she went. This was the first time she had seen him smile from the heart and it was endearing. She was going to cherish that smiling face of his in her memory, she thought.